Windows

There is a window
It opens to a grand view
Do I believe in what I see?
Or is the window opening, me?

Ignoring The Signs.

Repetitious, superficial beast
You've prepared a feast for my days
I have been here before
But my stomach is still empty.

Sentenced.

You are with me
We speak together of love
I am still alone in this sentence.

A Hidden Place.

You show me I am hiding
I speak to you of being lost
I find myself, hidden.

Disappearing Acts.

Now you see me
Now you don't
I disappeared inside
A puff of aromatic smoke

My limbs now fictional
Forming the apple flavoured haze
Around a new space
This mysterious eve,
Where only my heart remained
Open
And exposed for the taking
All of this heartbreaking
Will be the making
Of me
Broken down
In a sea
Of tiny pieces
Fluid and free
More connected than ever
For having known so much
Disconnect...

Now you see me
Now you don't
I disappeared inside
To find that hope still floats.

Remembering Japan.

I don't belong here
I remember sushi
And a quiet corner
Swaying Koi fish lanterns
A cherry blossom breeze
How is it
With every Spring, these flowers appease
And ignite
A knowing
An understanding
Of a distant land
Of graceful warrior hands
Outstretched
And motioning me
With their Tai Chi
Until I dissolve inside the memory
Of tatami mats 
And freshly folded origami
I must have died among a sea of paper cranes
Leaving my spirit to wander other planes
Before awaking in a new body
To another reality
Another country
Another time and place
Another face
And yet every trace of kanji
Still decorates and calms me
In ways I can't explain
As if tattooed under my skin
Japan you rise within
And occasionally fall with a nostalgic tear
Every time I feel
Your distance
Every time I feel
I don't belong here.

Remembering Russia.

Remembering Russia
Was it a dream?
Because somehow, somewhere
I feel we were torn at the seams
And the fabric of two lives
Then stretched out to others
Fraying and searching
For a way back to each other
Guided only by the threads of memory
Stitching feelings of nostalgia
That seem to show up
And sew up
Every Winter...
Strange how she always found the darkness
The solitude
So comforting
Why Winter?
Why now, do I see all of Siberia
In your blue-grey eyes
It stretches on forever
A tapestry of our time together
In another realm
Where we had nothing
So we had everything
And so I remember
As you speak to me, like some kind of tzar
Of some bizarre
Dream empire in the sky
And whether we'd really want that
Whether we need all that...
Or if you and I
Are enough
To sew a new story
To patch a new chapter together
The one where we found each other
Remembering Russia.

Liar Liar.

Your make-believe hands
Are cold around my neck 
And when my voice reaches to sing, or to speak
This is when you tighten your make-believe grip
Reducing me to a pip
….squeak
You are the cat
And I have been the mouse
You try and trap me
To gain control over this house 
I want her to stand tall
You want her to play small
But she is more than that
She is so much more than what you see
She is a home of peace
Trying to raise a family of possibilities
The likes of which, you could never seize
Though you try
And try again
Raising your faceless dread
As you sit at my table
Shaking your doubtful head
While shortening the leg
To rock me unstable
Until my chest caves in 
And shoulders fall
While you laugh and raise your glass tall
"A toast to all!"
A toast to my demise
But NO more…
You see my dear guest,
Over time I have gotten to know you
Even welcomed you here to rest
For I now understand why you have come to my temple
And why I have let you exist…
You do not wish
To strangle me
But rather, to grow me
Though your ways indeed, I find unsavoury
They have also come to show me
The illusion of your chains
So that I may understand the meaning of what it is to be free
And become more of what there is to be…
For without questioning
There is no deeper discovery
And so here you question me 
Albeit, uncomfortably
But honestly
What do I see?
What do I believe?
Well, my make-believe guest
Now I see you 
Now I don’t
For once I believed you
But now I won’t
Because the more I cease to resist you
The more you cease to exist to
Be.
Here.
Now I see, 
How you’ve been misunderstood
How you were merely
Showing me the wood 
For the trees
And all these clouds
That so malleably 
Conceal the warmth of a constant and shining sun
Depending on the state of my mind's perception
...Now
Now I understand this illusion
That hides the sweet truth
Within your acronym:
Face
and
Embrace
to
Alleviate 
and 
Rise
Rise, transcend and aspire
To the conscious mind and heart that soars higher
From the beautiful truth in the knowledge
That fear is a fucking liar.