Much Afraid.

I fluctuate between possibility
And despair
I am my own dream
And sometimes, my own worst nightmare

And lately I've been losing sleep
For fear of losing feet
On these shifting sands
Where did all those hands
To hold

Go?

No.

Stay.

Stay with it
Stay here
Look, your fear
In it's own frightened eye
And see
Whisper into it's ear
Tell it what it wants to hear

...That it will all be ok
Because it will be.

The Dance.

This is a dance

Are you moving?
Are you flowing?

This is a chance

To feel
To unpeel

Strip back to a space
That knows no time or place

Lost in the act
Only to be found in the moment

I am

Dancing.

Can you feel the vibration?

The Language Of Sound.

And if we spoke in song
Maybe you would hear me
Really hear me
For inside the space of music
I am free
Notions of who I am
Who am supposed to be...
Melt away
To a melody
And here
Here, is where you will find
My authenticity

I wish to do nothing but sing
Sing until the music stops
Sing until I drop
And dissipate back into
The musical debri
- Those very first sounds that made me
Carrying my vibrations along
Looking for a song
A life to sing...

My physicality
Is merely a parcel
For giving form
Shape
Contour
To this song
The package is temporary
But I've been here all along

Just put your ear to my chest
And listen
For I've not yet reached this chorus
And perhaps I won't in this lifetime
But oh, to be heard
To be heard without a word
Just in song
Just in sounds
Listening only for the energy
Behind that which made the audio resound
And nestle
In our ears
Softening all doubts and fears
And just
Inspiring!

...So let's speak in music
For we exist only as long
As the space in which we are truly listening...

One.

There is light and dark
Moon and sun
But in my heart
There is only one...

Sailing.

One day I will go sailing
And find out what it's all for...
One day I will go sailing
Until I'm sure I can't see the shore
Across the ripples - up and over
Life's up and downs
A speck amidst a vast and deep blue...

But wait! What's this?
It seems I'm already sailing
My sail strong and full!
 
- Funny, how easily lifted
Was the weight of my anchor
When to myself
I decided to be true
And so it seems, that this 'one day' is NOW!
And I am sailing
The best way that I know how...

And to each wave that takes me
I will wave back, and I will greet
For behind me
Travels a loyal fleet
Of hope...

And so it appears
I'm never alone
In this great unknown
For we are all on a voyage
Of our very own
Yet, together...

Together, in this big ol' sea
Unsure of the shore
That waits for the return of you and me
To tell us the secret
Of what this was all for...

Sometimes...

Sometimes I'm mindful
Of where my mind wanders
And sometimes I just let it wander
Back to you...

For it can still find you there
Sitting, waiting
In memory.

And sometimes lately
I can't string together my sentences
Because they made better sense
When I said them to you...

But I know I'll have to speak again
Sometime soon.

One And The Same.

And in a heartbeat
There it was.

The star I saw in the sky
I realised
Was just the same
As that which lights the flame
Behind my eye.

And in this moment
I cried comets tails
And my laughter echoed throughout the galaxy.

Dreamtime.

My heart is soft today
It whispers to me
The same way
It whispered to me
As a teenager
I remember
Rugged landscapes
Unkempt beauty …
Solitary wandering and dreaming
For hours in the humid evenings
…I never really fit in
At school…
These man made structures
Have always made me wonder

Australia…

Feeling at peace with the land
The smell of Eucalyptus trees
Crunchy undergrowth underneath foot and hand
Australia.

I remember her…

I need to wander
I need to go back to her
Find her strength
Her freedom
Her resilience
Her defiance
Wait…

She is here.
I just haven't been listening for some time…

Note To Self

All these notes
Notes to self
Just tear them up
Or place them on the shelf
Somewhere
And hear
This, note-to-self-maker:
Forget your to-do lists
Do it now!
And stop asking how...
Just find out as you go
And say hello
To the unknown
The only true home
Known
For certain
This is it
Your time is now
Forget the clock
It will only lock
Your dreams to a heavy timeline
Instead of being a lifeline
For taking hold of something new
For finding a different view
On this
Impatience you have
Paradoxically
With your procrastination
Your body is a peace loving nation
So bring it to your mind
To find
Stillness
And in stillness, a wealth
Of being
And this being
Your only true, note-to-self.